i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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