We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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