new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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