Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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