I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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