It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
