i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
FUCK WHALES
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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