remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
