Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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