Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Randomize
