Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
