look no pants
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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