I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You dont lie about slip and slides
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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