So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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