I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
