it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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