Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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