How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
