There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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