I got chris browned last night
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Randomize
