He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
