it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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