I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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