some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
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