so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
