Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
