he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
