I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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