Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
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