am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
