Non-Jews are for practice
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
