you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
