end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
