if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I wish I only lived at night.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
