Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
