Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
