He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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