I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
