thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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