i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
