My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I didn't notice because vodka
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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