he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
