dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I look better un-naked...
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Randomize
