I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
