Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
