how can u be prego again
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Randomize
