K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
