Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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