You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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