I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
